Autism is often misunderstood: Why autistic people interact differently

Autism is not a mystery to be solved, but a different way of experiencing the world. This article sheds light on why many behaviours of people with autism are often misunderstood. Understanding the background can help you interact with autistic people in a more empathetic and effective way. We answer the following questions:

• What is autism really?

• How do autistic people behave in social interactions?

• Why are certain characteristics so often misinterpreted?

• Which misunderstandings are particularly persistent?

What is autism – and why are autistic people so often misunderstood?

Autism, also known as autism spectrum disorder (ASD), is a neurological developmental disorder characterised by differences in communication, social interaction and behaviour. It is a spectrum: the range of manifestations extends from early childhood autism to Asperger's autism to atypical autism. The reason people with autism are often misunderstood is that they interact in ways that do not conform to the ‘neurotypical’ standard. Many characteristics, such as avoiding eye contact, so-called stimming, or very direct language, are quickly misinterpreted by non-autistic people Autistic people often experience the world more intensely sensorily, react more sensitively to many stimuli and prefer routine. This makes spontaneity or social dynamics exhausting. Their perception and stimulus processing are fundamentally different.

How do autism spectrum disorder and theory of mind affect social interaction?

A central concept in the discussion about autism is the so-called Theory of Mind: the ability to recognise and anticipate the mental states of other people. In many people with autism, this ability is delayed or markedly different. This makes interpersonal understanding difficult.

This often leads to misunderstandings in social interaction, for example when autistic people do not intuitively interpret facial expressions or irony, or communicate very literally themselves. This is not a lack of empathy, but rather a different way of processing. The American Psychiatric Associationdescribes these challenges as a core symptom of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). However, many autistic children and adults learn to cope with these differences over time and develop strategies for interacting with other people.

Why is eye contact uncomfortable for many autistic people?

Eye contact is considered a sign of attention and respect in many cultures. But for many people with autism, it is uncomfortable or even stressful. Processing visual stimuli often takes up so many of their resources that listening and looking at the same time is almost impossible. This behaviour is often misunderstood and interpreted as disinterest or rudeness. However, it is a strategy for self-regulation. People who avoid eye contact do not interact less – they interact differently. This difference can be particularly important in psychotherapy or in a school setting: not every non-verbal norm applies to every person in the same way.

What does ‘stimming’ mean – and why is it important?

Stimming (from ‘stim’ – self-stimulating behaviour) includes movements such as fluttering hands, humming or rocking the body. These behaviours help many autistic people to reduce stress or focus. In public situations, however, stimming is often perceived as ‘strange’ and suppressed. The problem: What looks unusual to non-autistic people has a regulatory function for the autistic person. Prohibitions or corrections therefore feel like an intrusion into their self-determination. In psychosomatics and psychotherapy, the same applies: People with autism need protected spaces where such forms of expression are possible.

Are all autistic people the same? Forms and manifestations of autism

Autism manifests itself very differently from person to person. In addition to high-functioning autism, in which cognitive abilities remain fully intact, there are also profound developmental disorders and impairments of speech or motor skills. The ability to form social contacts also varies greatly. The severity ranges from mild to severe impairments Terms such as Asperger's autism, atypical autism or savant syndrome describe subtypes – although current diagnostic manuals such as the DSM-5 now refer to a common autism spectrum. For psychiatry and child and adolescent psychiatry, this means that a differentiated, resource-oriented approach is essential. This is because pathologising autism in general does not do justice to either the individual or science.

What social challenges do autistic people face in everyday life?

Autistic people experience numerous obstacles in everyday life: conversations with several people, sudden changes of plan or unspoken social rules can be overwhelming. Interpersonal relationships with peers are particularly difficult for many.

Some studies report that non-autistic people cause misunderstandings more often than the reverse, as they misinterpret neurodivergent forms of expression. This leads to autistic people withdrawing or being perceived as unapproachable. Special interests, which can be very pronounced, also sometimes make it difficult to interact with other people – even though they offer great potential for conversation and connection.

What role does psychotherapy play in autism?

Psychotherapy is not a cure for autism, but it can be a valuable form of support. Especially in adolescence and adulthood, it can help people reflect on their own patterns, practise social interaction and cope with stress. However, it is important that the therapy is tailored to autism and does not aim at adaptation at any cost

The aim is to reduce barriers, promote self-acceptance and provide concrete assistance for everyday life. Autistic traits are also relevant in psychosomatics, for example in cases of sleep disorders, exhaustion or chronic tension. Here, specialists must rule out causes that are related to autism.

Why is the diagnosis ‘autism’ still fraught with prejudice?

Although well researched scientifically, autism is still associated with stereotypes in the public eye: the silent ‘Einstein type’ or the ‘child genius’ are just as common as the image of the ‘socially dysfunctional’ loner. Such clichés not only make diagnosis more difficult, but also make life with autism more difficult. Those who do not fit the image are often not recognised – or misjudged. Autistic women and high-functioning autistic people in particular fall through the cracks here. The media, schools and psychiatry need to rethink their approach: away from deficits and towards the diversity of neurodivergent realities

What should partners, friends and colleagues bear in mind?

When dealing with autistic people, understanding, structure and openness help. Parents can provide security through fixed routines and clear communication. Teachers benefit from further training on autism spectrum disorders in children and young people. Even in the workplace, small adjustments can remove major barriers: quiet rooms, reduced stimuli and clear expectations support participation

Anyone who interacts with people with autism should ask questions instead of judging. Because: People with autism learn to deal with the world – if you let them.

What are the five biggest myths about autism?

The five most common myths about autism are:

1. ‘Autistic people don't feel emotions.’ – False. They often feel more intensely, they just show it differently.

2. ‘Autistic people don't like people.’ – Untrue. Many crave relationships but have different communication needs.

3. ‘Only children have autism.’ – Wrong. Autism is a lifelong condition.

4. ‘Autistic people are always highly gifted or disabled.’ – Nonsense. There are many forms.

5. ‘You can see autism.’ – No. Much of it happens internally.

Such myths create barriers and make it difficult to access help. An informed perspective opens up avenues – for diagnosis, acceptance and participation.

Conclusion: What is important when dealing with autism?

Autism is not a disease, but a neurobiological variant of human perception and communication. Those who engage with it discover a unique logic behind the differences, a great deal of sensitivity – and genuine opportunities for relationships.

Key points at a glance:

Autism is a spectrum with a wide range of characteristics.

People with autism process stimuli, language and social interaction differently. Many characteristics, such as stimming or direct communication, are often misunderstood. Psychotherapy can help – but it must be tailored to autism. Education helps to break down barriers and enable participation. Conclusion: The better we understand autism, the easier it is to interact with others – on an equal footing, without prejudice.

Frequently asked questions about autism – concise answers

What is autism

Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterised by differences in communication, social interaction and behaviour. Today, we talk about the autism spectrum, which encompasses many forms – from early childhood autism to Asperger's syndrome.

What are the three main symptoms of autism?

The three central characteristics are

difficulties in social interaction,

• abnormalities in communication (verbal and nonverbal),

• repetitive behaviour patterns and restricted interests.

• What causes autism?

The exact causes are not yet fully understood. A genetic predisposition is assumed, possibly in combination with prenatal environmental factors. According to current research, vaccinations and parenting styles do not play a role.

What factors promote the development of autism?

There is evidence of genetic risk factors, early brain development and biological influences during pregnancy. However, a supportive environment helps kids reach their full potential, even if they're at higher risk.

How common is autism?

It's estimated that about 1% of people have an autism spectrum disorder, and this number is rising, partly because of better diagnosis.

How does autism progress?

Autism persists throughout life, but its course varies greatly from person to person. Many autistic people develop their own coping strategies and achieve a high quality of life, especially with early support.

What are the symptoms of autism?

Common symptoms include sensory sensitivity, social insecurity, direct speech, special interests and a high need for structure and repetition.

Stimming behaviour may also occur.

How is autism diagnosed?

The diagnosis is made through comprehensive behavioural observations, standardised tests and interviews with parents, teachers or caregivers. Diagnoses are usually made in child and adolescent psychiatry or by specialised autism centres.

Can autism be cured with therapy?

No. Autism is not a disease that needs to be cured. The aim of autism therapy is to improve quality of life, promote self-regulation and enable participation – not adaptation at any cost.

How is autism treated?

Treatment is individual. In addition to psychotherapy, remedial education, behavioural therapy and occupational therapy approaches are used. It is important that the methods are adapted to the autistic experience.

Where can I find support for autism?

Contact points include autism centres, early intervention centres, counselling centres, specialists in child and adolescent psychiatry, psychotherapists with experience in the autism spectrum, as well as specialised schools and parent networks.

What effects does autism have on everyday life?

Everyday challenges can include sensory overload, difficulties in social interaction, problems with planning and organisation, and the feeling of being constantly ‘different’. At the same time, many autistic people show particular strengths in detail perception, honesty and perseverance.

Does the autistic child have a ‘theory of mind’?

The so-called Theory of Mind is delayed or differently developed in many children with autism. This means that they find it difficult to understand the thoughts and feelings of others. However, with targeted support, this ability can often be developed further.

What is ‘Little Professor Syndrome’?

This term is often (but outdated) used to describe children with Asperger's autism who display a broad knowledge of facts at a very early age and stand out with adult-like phrasing. The term should be viewed critically today.

What is a shutdown in autism?

A shutdown refers to an inner withdrawal of autistic people when they are overwhelmed. Unlike a meltdown, which is visible to others, a shutdown appears calm – the affected person withdraws inwardly and appears passive or ‘unresponsive’.

Can an autistic person be messy?

Yes. Autism does not manifest itself in external order, but in perception, processing and the need for structure. Order can help – but it does not have to be compulsive or outwardly visible.

Are all autistic people the same?

No. The autism spectrum encompasses very different characteristics – every autistic person is unique. That is why the term ‘spectrum’ is so important: it emphasises diversity rather than a uniform image.

Are all autistic people considered severely disabled?

Not necessarily. A recognised autism diagnosis can lead to a degree of disability (GdB), but not every autistic person is automatically severely disabled in the legal sense.

Do autistic people have no feelings?

Yes, they do. Autistic people often feel very deeply – they just show it differently. Misunderstandings arise because neurotypical forms of expression (e.g. facial expressions or small talk) are not always intuitively understood.

Do autistic people just want to be alone?

Many autistic people need more space – not because they are rejecting others, but to regulate their stimuli. At the same time, many want social relationships, but on their own terms and with the right conditions.

Suffering from autism: ‘He's still a friendly boy ...’?

Statements like this show how widespread the image of the ‘suffering autistic person’ is. Autism is not suffering – suffering often arises from misunderstanding, pressure to conform and exclusion. Friendliness and autism are by no means mutually exclusive.

Is there a link between autism and creativity?

Yes, this is suggested by psychiatrist Michael Fitzgerald, among others. His research shows that autistic men often have exceptional creative or cognitive abilities. However, creativity manifests itself very individually in many people, whether autistic or not.

Are there overlaps between ADHD and autism?

Yes. Studies by R. Taurines and others show that there are common characteristics, such as impulsiveness, sensitivity to stimuli and social insecurity. A differentiated diagnosis is important, as treatment approaches may differ.

This FAQ section is updated regularly to include new questions. If you have a question that has not been answered here, please feel free to contact us using the contact form.