AuDHD, Masking & Burnout
DESCRIPTION:
ADHD, autism & burnout: causes and help for those affected. Recognising symptoms of masking in ADHD & autism. Tips for people with AuDHD.
ADHD, autism and masking: Why burnout is often inevitable for people with ADHD and autism, and how to recognise it
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This is a "deep dive" article about the enormous exhaustion experienced by many neurodivergent people.
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TL;DR (summary):
Masking (hiding symptoms) is a significant cause of exhaustion in people with ADHD and autism.
The constant attempt to fit into a neurotypical world leads to a chronic conflict between one's own needs and external expectations.
AuDHD burnout differs from depression in that it is often characterised by a loss of skills (skill regression).
The path to recovery involves "unmasking" and accepting one's own limitations.
1. What does masking mean, and why do so many neurodivergent people do it?
The term masking (or camouflaging) describes a survival strategy. It is the conscious or unconscious attempt to hide neurodivergent characteristics to avoid negative social attention. Many neurodivergent people learn at an early age that their natural behaviour is met with rejection.
But what does masking actually mean? It means that a person is constantly acting while trying to cope with everyday life. They suppress the urge to fidget, force themselves to make eye contact or practise scripts for small talk. Masking is not just "behaving"; it is cognitively demanding work.
For neurotypical people, social interaction is intuitive. For neurodivergent people, it is often a manual process that consumes computing power in the brain. When many affected people come home in the evening, they are not just tired; they collapse internally because the energy required to maintain the façade is completely depleted.
2. How does masking in ADHD differ from masking in autism?
Although the goal of not standing out is the same, the mechanisms differ slightly.
Masking in ADHD: This often involves suppressing impulsivity and hyperactivity. Those affected try desperately to sit still, not to interrupt others, or to compensate for their forgetfulness by obsessively writing lists. Many people with ADHD appear calm on the outside, while chaos rages in their heads.
Masking in autism: Here, the focus is often on social adaptation. Autistic people force themselves to copy the facial expressions and gestures of others to signal empathy, even if they have to analyse the situation cognitively instead of feeling it intuitively. Suppressing stimming (self-stimulating behaviour such as rocking or humming) is also part of this.
When ADHD and autism come together (AuDHD), the problem is exacerbated. You have to wear two masks at once. At the same time, those affected have often been trying to adapt their behaviour to a neurotypical society since childhood. This double effort is a direct path to exhaustion.
3. Why does this process almost inevitably lead to burnout?
Burnout in ADHD and autism usually arises from a long-term conflict between the authentic self and the role one plays. Imagine having to stand on stage for 40 hours a week and recite a text in a foreign language while spotlights blind you. That's precisely how everyday life feels for many people.
This state means chronic stress. The nervous system never gets a chance to rest. Adapting to neurotypical society requires constantly ignoring one's own needs (e.g. for rest or exercise).
Burnout is often caused not by major catastrophes, but by the accumulation of daily overexertion. Hiding one's identity robs one of the energy needed for work, relationships, or hobbies.
4. What symptoms indicate burnout in ADHD and autism?
Neurodivergent burnout (often referred to as "autistic burnout") differs from classic work burnout. If the following symptoms are present, you should take note:
Skill regression: Things you used to be able to do (cooking, talking on the phone, showering) suddenly become impossible.
Little to no resilience to external stimuli: noises or lights that used to be merely annoying now cause physical pain (sensory overload).
Shutdowns: Your body shuts down, making it difficult or impossible to speak.
Hypervigilance: Constant nervousness.
Physical reactions: e.g. an immediate increase in pulse rate when exposed to sounds or unexpected touch.
Cognitive breakdowns: severe concentration and memory problems that go far beyond the usual ADHD level.
It is as if the battery is not only empty, but no longer charges at all. The exhaustion goes right to the bone and cannot be remedied by a weekend of sleep.
5. Why are "close friends and family and social misunderstandings" often accelerants?
The environment plays a crucial role. Unfortunately, those affected often experience a lack of consideration or recognition of their suffering. Phrases such as "You don't seem autistic at all" or "Everyone gets stressed sometimes" are well-intentioned but toxic.
The lack of recognition of their suffering by those close to them leads those affected to mask it even more to prove that they are "functioning.
Close friends, family, and social expectations put pressure on. You don't want to disappoint anyone. But the gap between external expectations and your own capabilities becomes unbridgeable when you experience burnout. If your partner or family does not understand neurodivergence, every family celebration becomes another source of stress. The feeling of having to pretend to be someone else in your own home prevents the regeneration you so desperately need.
6. How do everyday life and bureaucracy affect resilience?
In a state of burnout, executive function often breaks down completely. Simple tasks become insurmountable mountains. Dealing with bureaucratic matters, filling out forms, submitting applications and making phone calls becomes impossible.
The bureaucratically complex system in the UK is already a hurdle for people with ADHD. When burnt out, the sight of an envelope is often enough to cause panic.
This is where the drastic decline in resilience becomes apparent. As the brain's filtering mechanisms fail, all information flows in unfiltered. The brain is constantly in "survival mode. Anyone who tries to continue functioning in this state risks a nervous breakdown.
7. Authenticity instead of conformity: is 'unmasking' the way out?
The most crucial step towards healing is what is known as unmasking. This means gradually removing the mask and behaving authentically again.
But be careful: just because masking is harmful does not mean that you can take it off overnight. It is often a protective mechanism that has been trained over many years.
Unmasking can mean:
Openly engaging in stimming again to reduce stress (e.g. with fidget toys).
Cancelling social events without making excuses.
Communicating openly: "I can't concentrate right now because the light is buzzing."
No longer forcing yourself to behave "normally" when it takes energy.
It's about creating an environment where you don't have to struggle to fit in, but where you can be yourself.
8. When is it time to take sick leave?
Many neurodivergent people wait too long. They think they need to "get through this one week. But ADHD burnout is a severe health crisis. It is essential to pay attention to your own needs and limits.
If you notice that you are no longer able to function in everyday life (e.g. forgetting to eat, neglecting hygiene) or that dark thoughts are increasing, it is time to take sick leave.
As expert Amy Marschall pointed out in a webinar on burnout, the recovery time for neurodivergent burnout is often significantly longer than for work-related burnout. It is not about taking a "holiday", but about recalibrating the entire nervous system.
9. What does the diagnosis change for people with ADHD or autism?
A late diagnosis (ASD or ADHD) is often a turning point. Finally, there is an explanation for the exhaustion and feeling of being different. People who are diagnosed with ADHD or autism can stop condemning themselves for their deficits.
Knowing about one's own neurobiology helps to adapt one's life ("accommodations").
They understand why they have specific symptoms.
You can educate those close to you ("It's not rudeness, it's sensory protection").
You find strategies that really help, instead of struggling with neurotypical advice.
Many neurodivergent people who are only diagnosed in adulthood report feeling immense relief. The diagnosis is permission to let their guard down.
10. Conclusion: A life in harmony with neurodivergence
The path out of burnout does not lead back to the old "functioning", but to a new "being". A being that understands neurodivergence not as a flaw, but as an operating system.
It is possible to lead a fulfilling life with autism and ADHD, but only if you stop fighting against yourself. Masking may ensure survival in the short term, but authenticity ensures mental health in the long term.
The most important points at a glance:
People with AuDHD are often under chronic stress due to the internal conflict between seeking stimulation (ADHD) and the need for security (autism).
Masking consumes massive cognitive resources and is the primary driver of burnout.
Symptoms such as skill regression, shutdowns and extreme sensitivity to noise indicate neurodivergent burnout.
A lack of consideration in the social environment and attempts to fit into the neurotypical world exacerbate the crisis.
The path to recovery requires radical acceptance, unmasking, and often professional therapeutic support.
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