Emotional Dysregulation

Emotional Dysregulation: Symptoms and Emotion Regulation instead of Emotion Control

Emotional Dysregulation: Symptoms and Emotion Regulation instead of Emotion Control

ein bild von einem ufer, links sind steine, rechts ist das meer, in der mitte ist eine gelbe linie
ein bild von einem ufer, links sind steine, rechts ist das meer, in der mitte ist eine gelbe linie

DESCRIPTION:

Emotions and stressful situations: Constant emotion control during aggression or other frequent negative emotions or even disruptive affective disorder leads to exhaustion, not regulation. The 10 best ways to deal with emotions for healthy emotion regulation.

Understanding emotional dysregulation: Causes, consequences and ways to better regulate emotions without exhaustion

The 10 best ways to deal better with emotional dysregulation

1.       Recognising feelings instead of pushing them away - naming emotions reduces their impact.

2.       Involve your body - sport, breathing exercises or yoga have a regulating effect.

3.       Create inner distance - a brief moment between trigger and reaction changes the dynamic.

4.       Practise self-compassion - treating yourself kindly takes the pressure out of the situation.

5.       Practising mindfulness - staying present without reacting immediately is an important technique in psychosomatics.

6.       Seek social support - exchange stabilises and relieves.

7.       Pay attention to sleep and nutrition - stable cornerstones for mental balance.

8.       Develop acceptance - do not see feelings as "mistakes" but as signals.

9.       Establish structure - fixed routines reduce emotional fluctuations.

10.   Use professional help - therapies such as DBT or ACT offer effective tools.

In a world that places increasing emphasis on self-optimisation and control, the ability to regulate one's own emotions is often presented as a goal worth striving for. But what happens when the constant effort to control emotions itself becomes a problem?

What it's all about: specific strategies for improving emotional responsiveness.

·         Emotional dysregulation - a symptom that occurs in various mental disorders,

·         how it significantly impairs quality of life

·         traditional approaches to emotion control

·         why they lead to emotional exhaustion

·         Acceptance-based methods for dealing with intense feelings in a more sustainable way

In short, it's about being able to develop a healthier way of dealing with your emotions without falling into the trap of constant over-control.

 1 What is emotional dysregulation?

Emotional dysregulation describes a difficulty in correctly reading and categorising inner states and therefore also in appropriately regulating the intensity and duration of one's own emotions. People with emotional dysregulation often experience their feelings as overwhelming and uncontrollable. They have difficulties in controlling their emotional reactions appropriately to the situation, which can manifest itself in symptoms such as outbursts of anger, severe mood swings and increased irritability.

In contrast to healthy emotion regulation, where people are able to recognise, understand and react appropriately to their feelings, dysregulation limits the ability to self-regulate during intense emotional moments. Emotional dysregulation is not an independent diagnosis in psychiatry, but rather a transdiagnostic symptom that can occur in various mental disorders.

Table: Distinction between emotion regulation and emotional dysregulation

Aspect

Emotion regulation

Emotional dysregulation

Perception of feelings

Emotions are clearly recognised and understood

Emotions are perceived as overwhelming and uncontrollable

Ability to react

Appropriate, situational reactions

Disproportionate reactions that are inappropriate to the situation

Self-awareness

Awareness of one's own emotional states is a central aspect of psychotherapy.

Feeling of loss of control over one's own emotions

2 How does emotional dysregulation develop?

The causes of emotional dysregulation are varied and often complex. Early childhood experiences, especially those characterised by neglect, abuse or inconsistent caregivers, can impair the development of adequate emotion regulation strategies. Genetic factors also play a role, as some people are naturally more emotionally sensitive.

Trauma, both in childhood and adulthood, can permanently change the ability to regulate emotions. Neuroscientific research suggests that people with emotional dysregulation often have changes in brain regions responsible for processing and regulating emotions (such as the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala). In addition, certain mental illnesses, such as borderline personality disorder, ADHD or anxiety disorders, can be associated with emotional dysregulation.

 3 Emotional dysregulation vs. emotion regulation

Emotion regulation refers to all processes by which individuals attempt to influence the type, intensity or duration of emotions in a certain direction. Functioning emotion regulation enables us to cope adequately with negative emotions such as fear, anger or sadness without them overwhelming us or leading to inappropriate behaviour.

In contrast, emotional dysregulation is characterised by a lack of ability to control emotional reactions effectively. While healthy emotion regulation leads to better mental health, stronger self-control, increased resilience and better interpersonal relationships, dysregulation can strain social relationships and lead to isolation.

4 How does emotional dysregulation manifest itself in everyday life?

Emotional dysregulation can manifest itself in different ways in everyday life: Those affected often experience intense, rapidly changing emotions that they find difficult to control. They tend towards impulsive behaviour and often have difficulty expressing their feelings appropriately.

Common forms of expression are:

- Sudden, intense outbursts of anger that are disproportionate to the trigger

- Long-lasting mood swings for no apparent reason

- Excessive emotional reactions to minor frustrations or disappointments

- Persistent irritability between outbursts

- Difficulty calming down after emotional outbursts

These symptoms can affect all areas of life - from professional challenges to interpersonal relationships. The constant effort to control emotions without having effective strategies often leads to emotional exhaustion and feelings of burnout.

 5 Why does constant emotion control lead to emotional exhaustion?

Constant emotion regulation can lead to emotional exhaustion if the resources required to regulate one's own emotions exceed the available capacity. This condition is particularly common in occupations with high emotional demands (such as nursing or emergency services), where employees often have to follow display rules that require them to show certain emotions and suppress others.

Instead of processing emotions adequately, they are suppressed, which leads to inner tension. The constant effort to control one's own feelings, impairs the natural ability to deal with emotions and can lead to symptoms such as fatigue, irritability and a feeling of inner emptiness in the long term. Those affected experience a kind of "burn-out" on an emotional level, which has a negative impact on their general well-being.

6 What is the connection between emotional dysregulation and mental disorders?

Emotional dysregulation is closely linked to various mental disorders. It is a central feature of disorders such as borderline personality disorder, disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD) and ADHD.

Table: Emotional dysregulation in various disorders

Disorder

Characterisation of emotional dysregulation

Borderline personality disorder

Intense, unstable emotions and interpersonal relationships, impulsive behaviour, fear of abandonment

ADHD

Emotional overreactivity, mood swings, low frustration tolerance

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder

Severe, recurring outbursts of anger that are clearly disproportionate to the situation

Anxiety disorders

Overwhelming feelings of anxiety, difficulty regulating anxiety

 

Studies have shown that the ability to regulate emotions effectively is an important protective factor against the development and maintenance of affective disorders. Conversely, a lack of emotion regulation can exacerbate the symptoms of these disorders.

 7 How does emotional dysregulation manifest itself in children and adolescents?

In children and adolescents, emotional dysregulation often manifests itself through an unusual, altered mood that usually lasts for half of the day and almost every day, which can lead to anxiety and aggression. The emotions of anger and sadness play a particularly prominent role here.

Adolescents often also show several symptoms of increased excitability such as: quick distractibility, strong restlessness, racing thoughts, flight of ideas, urge to talk and sleep disorders. Children and adolescents with affective dysregulation experience aggressive outbursts of temper that are either verbal or behavioural in nature. These can be observed several times a week depending on the situation and do not correspond to the situation and developmental stage.

Irritability often leads to difficulties in several areas (e.g. at home, at school or with peers). Affective dysregulation can increase the risk of various negative consequences, such as impaired school performance, problems in family relationships and the development of depressive disorders in adulthood.

 8 Traditional approaches to regulating emotions: What works in regulation and what doesn't?

Traditional methods of emotion regulation include various techniques for controlling or changing emotions. Many methods aim to reduce negative feelings, especially in stressful situations or emotional dysregulation.

Proven traditional approaches include psychotherapy and specific relaxation techniques.

- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT): identifying and changing negative thought patterns

- Relaxation techniques: Reducing physical tension and promoting calmness

- Problem-solving strategies: learning methods to reduce the intensity of negative emotions

However, these approaches reach their limits when it comes to deeper problems, especially if emotional dysregulation is deeply rooted. The focus on suppressing unwanted emotions is particularly problematic and can lead to emotional exhaustion and aggression in the long term. The constant control of one's own feelings can impair the natural ability to deal with emotions and mask the actual causes of emotional dysregulation.

9 Revolutionary new ways: Acceptance-based approaches to emotion regulation

Acceptance-based and mindfulness-based approaches such as DBT and ACT are revolutionary methods for emotion control. These revolutionary, accentuated approaches to emotion control emphasise acceptance and mindfulness rather than suppression or avoidance of emotions.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is one such approach developed specifically for people with emotional dysregulation. DBT teaches skills in the areas of mindfulness, interpersonal skills, emotion regulation and stress tolerance. Another promising approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which aims to promote psychological flexibility by combining acceptance, mindfulness and values-orientation.

These approaches recognise that trying to fully control emotions is often counterproductive and teach how to accept emotions and still lead a fulfilling life. They do not aim to compulsively suppress emotions, but rather to deal with them appropriately.

 10 Practical strategies for dealing with emotions in a healthier way

In addition to the psychotherapy approaches mentioned above, there are also many practical tips that can help to better regulate emotions in everyday life. It is important to recognise and name your own emotions. Mindfulness can help you to become aware of your own feelings without judging or suppressing them.

Effective strategies include:

 

- Create distance: Increase the distance between trigger and reaction

- Perceive feelings: curious observation of physical reactions to emotions

- Naming feelings: precise naming of the emotions felt

- Accept emotions: Practising self-compassion and recognising emotional reactions as justified

- Practising mindfulness: Anchoring in the present moment without judgement

Physical activity, such as sport or yoga, can help to reduce stress and improve mood. Socialising and interacting with other people can also be a valuable source of social support. Sufficient sleep and a healthy diet are also important for mental well-being.

Summary

 

·         Emotional dysregulation is a transdiagnostic symptom that manifests itself in difficulties in appropriately modulating the intensity and duration of emotions.

·         The causes are diverse and include genetic factors, trauma, neurological characteristics and early relationship experiences.

·         Constant emotional control through suppression can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout, especially in professions with high emotional demands.

·         Emotional dysregulation is associated with various mental disorders such as borderline personality disorder, ADHD and anxiety disorders.

·         In children and adolescents, emotional dysregulation manifests itself in mood disorders, increased excitability and aggressive outbursts.

·         Traditional approaches to emotion regulation often focus on control and suppression, which can be problematic in the long term.

·         Acceptance-based approaches such as DBT and ACT offer revolutionary new ways of dealing with emotions.

Practical strategies such as mindfulness, physical activity and social support can help in everyday life.

FAQ: Emotional dysregulation

What helps with emotional dysregulation?

A bundle of short-term and long-term strategies is helpful. Mindfulness exercises such as conscious breathing or observing thoughts without immediate judgement bring distance into acute situations. Physical exercise, be it endurance training, yoga or a walk, reduces inner tension and reduces stress hormones. Structured daily routines provide security because they leave less room for emotional fluctuations. At a professional level, methods such as Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) have proven their worth. They teach concrete skills for dealing with intense emotions, promote self-acceptance and help to prevent relapses into old patterns.

How can I control my emotions and become less emotional?

The key is not maximum control, but regulation. Emotions cannot be switched off like a light switch. If you try to permanently suppress emotions, you often unconsciously reinforce them. It is more helpful to consciously recognise emotions, name them internally and then choose an appropriate response. Examples: "I'm feeling anger right now - I'll take a deep breath before I react." Over time, this creates space between stimulus and reaction. The aim is not to be "less emotional", but to deal with emotions more flexibly and constructively.

What examples are there of dysfunctional emotion regulation?

Dysfunctional strategies occur when dealing with emotions is relieving in the short term but harmful in the long term. Typical examples are impulsive outbursts of anger that destroy relationships. Withdrawal and social isolation prevent conflicts but increase loneliness. Substance abuse such as alcohol or drugs is often used as self-medication, but exacerbates the problems. The constant suppression of feelings ("Just don't show how I feel") also leads to inner tension and one day to exhaustion. These patterns make it clear that it is not the emotion itself that is the problem, but how we deal with it.

What helps with emotion regulation?

The central building blocks are:

Naming feelings: Just saying it out loud ("I'm sad") reduces the intensity.

Mindful breathing: A few deep breaths regulate the body and reduce the stress response.

Distancing techniques: Seeing thoughts as "clouds in the sky" instead of taking them for facts.

Physical activity: Exercise relieves stress and stabilises the hormone balance.

Social support: talking to trusted people provides support.

Therapeutic methods such as DBT, ACT or cognitive behavioural therapy offer structured exercises.

Why is emotion regulation important?

Emotions control our behaviour, our relationships and our well-being. Those who are able to regulate their emotions remain capable of acting in stressful situations, make more considered decisions and maintain more stable relationships. Functioning emotion regulation acts as a buffer against stress, strengthens psychological resilience and provides long-term protection against depression, anxiety disorders and burnout.

What is an emotion regulation disorder?

Experts speak of a disorder when emotions are permanently experienced as overwhelming, their intensity no longer matches the situation and the level of social, academic or professional functioning is significantly impaired. Typical signs are extreme mood swings, loss of control during outbursts of anger or a general inability to calm down again after stress. A disorder is not a "weakness of character", but an indication of deeper psychological processes that should be treated.

How does emotional dysregulation manifest itself in children?

In children and adolescents, dysregulation often manifests itself in the form of frequent outbursts of anger, severe irritability, mood swings or persistent sadness. Sleep disorders, concentration problems and difficulties at school are also common. Because children do not yet have mature strategies, they react more impulsively. Early support - e.g. through parent training, school support or psychotherapeutic counselling - can prevent problematic patterns from becoming entrenched into adulthood.

What strategies are used to control emotions?

Strategies range from cognitive methods to acceptance-based approaches. Cognitive techniques are aimed at recognising and questioning thoughts ("Is this really true?"). Relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation or meditation calm the body. Acceptance and mindfulness techniques (ACT, DBT) teach us not to compulsively get rid of emotions, but to live with them without letting them dictate our behaviour. The combination is crucial: short-term calming and long-term development of stable skills.

How does emotion regulation influence well-being?

Stable regulation leads to greater self-esteem, fewer conflicts, more serenity and better mental health. People feel more stable internally and can cope with crises more constructively. Conversely, impaired regulation puts a strain on body and soul: permanent stress, sleep problems, conflicts in relationships and an increased risk of mental disorders are the result. Emotion regulation therefore plays a key role in whether we experience our lives as stable, fulfilling and manageable.

Invitation to the book event at the Müritz

On the weekend of 16 to 18 January 2026, I will be presenting my new book

"How do we regulate our emotions - without losing ourselves?"

in the historic Ludorf manor house (approx. 140 km from Berlin).

Programme

16 January: Free book presentation and book distribution in the evening

17 and 18 January: Intensive seminar on emotion regulation (max. 12 places)

Options & prices

Seminar:

399 € (early bird until 01.11.25) / 470 € (from 01.11.25)

plus costs for accommodation and catering (100-200 € for accommodation)

Accommodation only (without seminar): approx. 100-200 €

👉 More information and booking: https://gutshaus-ludorf.de/emotionsregulierung-seminar/.


RELATED ARTICLES:

How do we regulate our emotions without losing ourselves? - Event

Emotional triggers

The Science of Emotions

Childhood trauma: Understanding emotional dysregulation in complex post-traumatic stress disorder (cPTSD)

Anfahrt & Öffnungszeiten

Close-up portrait of dr. stemper
Close-up portrait of a dog

Psychologie Berlin

c./o. AVATARAS Institut

Kalckreuthstr. 16 – 10777 Berlin

virtuelles Festnetz: +49 30 26323366

E-Mail: info@praxis-psychologie-berlin.de

Montag

11:00-19:00

Dienstag

11:00-19:00

Mittwoch

11:00-19:00

Donnerstag

11:00-19:00

Freitag

11:00-19:00

a colorful map, drawing

Google Maps-Karte laden:

Durch Klicken auf diesen Schutzschirm stimmen Sie dem Laden der Google Maps-Karte zu. Dabei werden Daten an Google übertragen und Cookies gesetzt. Google kann diese Informationen zur Personalisierung von Inhalten und Werbung nutzen.

Weitere Informationen finden Sie in unserer Datenschutzerklärung und in der Datenschutzerklärung von Google.

Klicken Sie hier, um die Karte zu laden und Ihre Zustimmung zu erteilen.

Dr. Stemper

©2025 Dr. Dirk Stemper

Dienstag, 26.8.2025

a green flower
an orange flower
a blue flower

technische Umsetzung

Anfahrt & Öffnungszeiten

Close-up portrait of dr. stemper
Close-up portrait of a dog

Psychologie Berlin

c./o. AVATARAS Institut

Kalckreuthstr. 16 – 10777 Berlin

virtuelles Festnetz: +49 30 26323366

E-Mail: info@praxis-psychologie-berlin.de

Montag

11:00-19:00

Dienstag

11:00-19:00

Mittwoch

11:00-19:00

Donnerstag

11:00-19:00

Freitag

11:00-19:00

a colorful map, drawing

Google Maps-Karte laden:

Durch Klicken auf diesen Schutzschirm stimmen Sie dem Laden der Google Maps-Karte zu. Dabei werden Daten an Google übertragen und Cookies gesetzt. Google kann diese Informationen zur Personalisierung von Inhalten und Werbung nutzen.

Weitere Informationen finden Sie in unserer Datenschutzerklärung und in der Datenschutzerklärung von Google.

Klicken Sie hier, um die Karte zu laden und Ihre Zustimmung zu erteilen.

Dr. Stemper

©2025 Dr. Dirk Stemper

Dienstag, 26.8.2025

a green flower
an orange flower
a blue flower

technische Umsetzung

Anfahrt & Öffnungszeiten

Close-up portrait of dr. stemper
Close-up portrait of a dog

Psychologie Berlin

c./o. AVATARAS Institut

Kalckreuthstr. 16 – 10777 Berlin

virtuelles Festnetz: +49 30 26323366

E-Mail: info@praxis-psychologie-berlin.de

Montag

11:00-19:00

Dienstag

11:00-19:00

Mittwoch

11:00-19:00

Donnerstag

11:00-19:00

Freitag

11:00-19:00

a colorful map, drawing

Google Maps-Karte laden:

Durch Klicken auf diesen Schutzschirm stimmen Sie dem Laden der Google Maps-Karte zu. Dabei werden Daten an Google übertragen und Cookies gesetzt. Google kann diese Informationen zur Personalisierung von Inhalten und Werbung nutzen.

Weitere Informationen finden Sie in unserer Datenschutzerklärung und in der Datenschutzerklärung von Google.

Klicken Sie hier, um die Karte zu laden und Ihre Zustimmung zu erteilen.

Dr. Stemper

©2025 Dr. Dirk Stemper

Dienstag, 26.8.2025

a green flower
an orange flower
a blue flower

technische Umsetzung