Description: Find out if and how maladaptive daydreaming differs between men and women - from the content of daydreams to the way they are coped with.

Related

• Maladaptive daydreaming - causes, symptoms and help

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• Daydreaming as a coping strategy: From a helpful mechanism to a problematic habit (20)

• Maladaptive daydreaming: Who is affected? Facts and figures on prevalence (5)

Teaser (Lead)

Do men and women daydream in the same way? And if not, what are the differences? Research is only just beginning to decipher the gender-specific characteristics of maladaptive daydreaming. This article provides an overview of what is currently known.

Gender-specific differences in maladaptive daydreaming

First, read the detailed main article [Understanding, treating and overcoming maladaptive daydreaming]

or

The overview "Maladaptive daydreaming - causes, symptoms and help". This article examines the neurological mechanisms behind the phenomenon.

Who is affected more often?

Maladaptive daydreaming can affect individuals of any gender. Nevertheless, initial studies and numerous reports from sufferers suggest that the way daydreaming occurs, as well as the content and coping strategies, often differ between men and women.

Current studies and surveys in affected groups indicate that more women than men report maladaptive daydreaming. However, it is unclear whether women are actually affected more frequently or whether they disclose and seek help more often. Men may be less likely to discuss their daydreams due to feelings of shame or social expectations.

Differences in daydream content

The fantasy worlds are often, although not always, characterised by themes that are typically assigned to one gender by society.

Frequent themes for women:

• Relationship and romance scenarios

• Rescue and protector fantasies

• Extensive character development and emotional entanglements

• Scenarios in which they are at the centre of recognition and admiration

Common themes for men:

• Hero stories and power fantasies

• Success and recognition scenarios (professional, sporting)

• Scientific or technical achievements

• Sophisticated action or adventure scenarios

Important: These are only tendencies! The range of daydream content is enormous for all genders.

Different triggers and functions

Daydreaming often fulfils similar functions for men and women (e.g. emotion regulation, escape), but the specific triggers can vary.

In women, daydreams are often triggered by

• Emotional conflicts or interpersonal stress

• The feeling of not being seen or valued

• Excessive demands in the role of provider or carer

In men, daydreams are often triggered by

• Experiences of powerlessness or loss of control

• Criticism or failure in the professional/performance-oriented area

• Social expectations of having to be "strong"

Dealing with daydreaming

How daydreaming is dealt with and the motivation to seek help can also vary.

Many women describe daydreaming more as an emotional retreat and seek help because they suffer from the distress and social consequences (loneliness).

Many men describe their daydreaming more as a "secret parallel life" or a kind of inner pressure. They often seek help later, primarily because the daydreams impair their performance at work.

Why are there these differences?

The differences are probably less biological and more a reflection of social influences and expectations:

1. Socialisation: girls are often expected to be more imaginative and emotional, while boys are expected to be more action-oriented.

2. Learned coping strategies: Women tend to be ascribed "internalising" behaviour (withdrawal, brooding), men "externalising" behaviour (anger, action).

3. Acceptance: Intense daydreaming in girls and women is often dismissed as "dreamy" and harmless, whereas in boys and men it is more quickly criticised as "escaping reality" or refusing to perform.

Conclusion: the common ground prevails

Even if there are nuances, the similarities between the sexes far outweigh the differences. The suffering, the loss of control and the desire for a fulfilling life in reality unite all those affected.

However, understanding gender-specific differences can help to develop better, more targeted therapy and support services and give each person affected the help they really need.

FAQ

Have the gender-specific differences been scientifically proven?

Not yet comprehensively. Research is still in its infancy. The differences described are mainly based on clinical observations and reports from affected communities.

Can men also have "typically female" daydream content and vice versa?

Absolutely! Daydream content is as individual as the people themselves. Gender stereotypes provide only a rough framework for understanding tendencies, rather than fixed categorisations.

Does therapy have to be different for men and women?

The core of the therapy (e.g., emotion regulation, mindfulness, and increasing impulse control) remains the same. However, the treatment can be skilfully adapted to the different triggers and realities of life to be even more effective.

I'm a man and I'm ashamed of my daydreams - is that normal?

Yes, unfortunately, it is very normal. Societal expectations often make it difficult for men to admit that they are struggling with such an "internal" challenge. Important to know: It has nothing to do with weakness, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

Regardless of gender, maladaptive daydreaming is a serious coping strategy that can interfere with life. The most important thing is to dare to talk about it and get support.