When and how to have a sensitive conversation about therapy

Introduction

You notice that someone around you is withdrawing, irritable or behaving differently than usual. You want to help, but don't know how to broach the subject without exerting pressure or scaring them off.

This conversation can be challenging, but it's important. Mental health issues affect many people, but those affected are often hesitant to seek professional help. The way you approach the subject can determine whether they open up or withdraw further. This post is about:

• How to recognise when someone needs professional help

• How to broach the subject of therapy sensitively

• What you can do if the person you're talking to reacts negatively

• How you can help without overwhelming yourself

When is therapy useful?

Psychotherapy helps people to overcome emotional and psychological challenges. It offers a safe space to process feelings, recognise behavioural patterns and develop strategies for coping.

Why is therapy so important?

• Mental illnesses are widespread – one in four adults in Germany is affected.

• Friends alone cannot do everything – therapy offers knowledge and methods that go beyond everyday advice.

• Early help prevents crises – timely support can prevent worse things from happening.

How to recognise when help is needed

Not everyone talks openly about their feelings. Watch out for these warning signs:

• Social withdrawal – loss of contact, constant refusals or increasing isolation.

• Irritability or mood swings – unusually irritable or aggressive behaviour.

• Changes in sleep or appetite – persistent sleep problems or noticeable changes in diet.

• Feelings of hopelessness – statements such as ‘It's no use’.

• Frequent substance use – Increased alcohol or drug use as a coping strategy.

If you notice any of these changes, it's time to take action.

How to broach the subject of therapy (without building up pressure)

1. Choose the right moment

• Have the conversation in a calm, relaxed atmosphere.

• Avoid mentioning the subject in stressful situations.

• Ask: ‘Do you have a few minutes right now? I'm concerned about you.’

2. Express your concern without blame

• Use ‘I’ messages instead of accusations.

• Example: ‘I've noticed that you've been withdrawing lately. I'm worried.’

3. Therapy is a normal thing

• Mention that many people benefit from it.

• If possible, share your own experiences or examples from your circle of acquaintances.

• Example: ‘Many people I know have had good experiences with therapy. It doesn't mean that something is “wrong”, it's just one way to get support.’

4. Help with the organisation

• Research therapy options or clarify cost issues.

• Offer to look for a suitable place together.

• If there is uncertainty, suggest a single trial session.

5. Accept your counterpart's decision

• If you are rejected, be patient.

• Remind them that you can always talk about it again.

• Example: ‘I understand that this may be too much right now. We can talk at another time if you like.’

How to respond to common objections

Many people have reservations about therapy. Here are some suitable answers:

• ‘I don't have time.’ → ‘There are flexible appointments and online services.’

• ‘It's too expensive.’ → ‘Health insurance companies cover certain costs or offer subsidies.’

• ‘I have to do it alone.’ → ‘Seeking help shows strength, not weakness.’

• ‘What if the therapist isn't right for me?’ → ‘You can always change therapists until you find the right one.’

What to do in case of rejection?

If the other person is not willing:

• Remain available as a point of contact

• Encourage healthy coping strategies (e.g. going for walks, engaging in creative activities).

• Gently bring up the topic again at a later date.

• If the situation worsens, seek professional help, first for yourself.

Conclusion

Raising the topic of therapy requires tact. By choosing the right moment, communicating empathetically and offering practical support, you can create an open atmosphere in which your counterpart can feel safe.

Ultimately, you can't force anyone to accept help. But you can provide the first important impetus. Sometimes it's enough just to plant the seed – until the person is ready to take the next step.