She looked calm. Perhaps too calm. A little later she was dead. What to do in crises, suicidal thoughts and in the suicidal pause?

Seconds before she let go: Why calm before suicide is not breathing a sigh of relief, but life that needs help

Finding help in life crises - What you need to know about deceptive calm in a suicide

She seemed calm. Calm. Peaceful. And then she was gone.

The last known photo of Heather Papayoti (https://bouldercityreview.com/news/lake-mead-hoover-dam/picture-captures-final-moments-of-womans-life/) shows her on the railing of the Hoover Dam Bridge. Seconds later, she let go - literally. No scream. No scene. Just wind in her hair and silence. Her things were still on the back seat of the waiting taxi. Tourists were taking photos of the breathtakingly beautiful landscape on the bridge.

What seems so calm is in fact often the opposite of healing: a dangerous pause before suicide. This apparent serenity - in young people and adults alike - is regularly misinterpreted. Young people and adults alike can appear completely composed shortly before a suicide attempt - even though they have long since made concrete preparations.

The so-called "suicidal pause" deceives relatives and those affected. This is because it occurs when a decision has already been made - and not because the person concerned is feeling better.

Suicide prevention begins with understanding. And sometimes with a single glance that doesn't look away.

What it's all about:

What signs indicate suicidal crises - even when everything seems "normal"

Why young people are particularly at risk and how this manifests itself

What role the family, the environment and internet forums play

What you can do if you are worried

What is suicide prevention?

Suicide prevention means protecting life - before someone no longer asks for it.

The term covers all measures that raise awareness with information and, in general, aim to prevent suicide attempts or stabilise those affected in suicidal crises. This includes psychological counselling, therapeutic support, information about suicidal tendencies and low-threshold offers of help - at school, in the family, in the network.

Prevention is particularly important for young people. According to studies, one in five young people think about suicide at least occasionally. Many of them are quiet. They appear composed, capable and well-adjusted. But behind this surface often lurks the desire to disappear - not out of defiance, but out of deep exhaustion.

But this silence is deceptive. A sufferer who suffers from isolation, depression or anxiety for a long time and then suddenly appears calm may be in a suicidal final phase. The inner battle is then not over - it has already been given up.

Suicide prevention is not just about treatment.
It also means being informed and attentive. Having conversations can help to obtain information about suicide and support. The aim must be to Recognising warning signs. The task is to create access. And to communicate: "You are not alone."

Why are young people particularly at risk?

Young people carry heavy burdens - long before they have learnt to talk about them.

Puberty, pressure to perform in society, social insecurities, family tensions and digital overload to an unprecedented extent have a profound effect on mental balance. When depressive episodes, anxiety disorders or stressful school experiences are added to this, young people's inner world can easily become unbalanced.

It is often desperation, isolation and the feeling of having no alternative that drive young people into a crisis. What is particularly alarming is that around 40 to 60 per cent of young people at risk regularly use drugs or medication - not out of rebellion, but to numb themselves.

What they need is not a raised index finger, but a safe space. A conversation that doesn't judge. An adult who doesn't look away. A school that not only sees performance, but also recognises stress, and where they get help in life crises.

How does suicidal behaviour manifest itself in young people?

It rarely begins with a suicide note, but much more often with a withdrawal.

Suicidal behaviour in young people can manifest itself in very different ways. Some become aggressive, others quiet. Some appear over-excited and cheerful, others lose all interest in socialising. Many suddenly show an inexplicable calmness. After a long period of isolation, they appear calm and organised.

Typical warning signs can be: changes in behaviour, withdrawal or signs of emotional stress.

Persistent experience of depression or irritability

Withdrawal from friends, family, school and generally from the usual network

Excessive sensitivity to criticism can be a warning sign of difficult behaviour.

Conversations about death, hopelessness or worthlessness

Preparatory actions such as giving away important items

Changes in behaviour: impulsive, angry, over-adapted - these can all be signs of affected people.

Particularly deceptive: the so-called suicidal pause. It often occurs when the decision to commit suicide has already been made - and appears to bring new calm. But this calm is not relaxation. It is a quiet farewell.

What is a suicidal pause?

The suicidal pause is a deceptive moment of calm - not of recovery.

It describes a state of external serenity that often occurs shortly before a planned suicide. Those affected suddenly appear calm, organised, almost relieved. For those around them, this appears to be a sign of stabilisation - but in reality, the decision has already been made.

Why is it so dangerous?
Because it gives the illusion of safety where the highest level of alertness would be necessary. There have been cases where, after years of isolation, those affected suddenly appeared calm and lucid - and yet committed suicide a few days later together with a chat partner.

The suicidal pause means

No more inner struggle

No more searching for help

No more "maybe" - but a "now it's decided."

Recognising this silence saves lives.

What should be done when a life is in acute crisis?

When a young person talks about suicide, it's not a test - it's a cry for help.

In an acute crisis, every minute counts. If someone confides in you or if you suspect suicidal thoughts, you should not hesitate. It is better to act once too often to help the person concerned in good time than once too late.

According to the report, young people with depressive moods, social withdrawal and specific internet searches are particularly at risk. And even if they appear calm - as in the case of the boy who had already obtained sleeping pills and alcohol - the danger is not averted. On the contrary: calmness can be the strongest warning signal.

How you can actually help:

Stay with the person. Don't leave them alone in the crisis. Your presence can have a stabilising effect and support the person concerned.

Ask questions directly to facilitate an open conversation about suicide. For example: "Have you thought about taking your own life?" This is not breaking a taboo - it is relieving.

Take every comment seriously. Even seemingly casual sentences such as "I just don't want to do it anymore" should not be ignored.

Contact professional help immediately.

Avoid well-intentioned reassurances that could trivialise the situation - for example: "It'll be okay." It's better to say: "I'm here for you. You don't have to go through this alone."

What do you do when someone confides in you?

When someone opens up to you, you are at a turning point.

Many family members and friends feel overwhelmed when someone talks about suicidal thoughts. But you don't have to offer therapy - you just have to be there. Your attitude, your reaction, your listening make all the difference.

What is important in a conversation now:

Stay calm. Take a deep breath and listen. Your calmness has a stabilising effect.

Don't judge anything. Sentences like "It's not that bad" can be hurtful. Taking it seriously means: "I can see that this is difficult for you right now."

Ask questions. "How long have you been feeling like this?", or: "What helps you not to give up?" Questions create a connection.

Don't make decisions over the person's head. Involve them actively - in conversations, in seeking help, in making decisions.

A conversation is no substitute for therapy - but it can be the beginning of salvation.
Many young people later report that it was precisely this moment - an open conversation - that changed their thinking. Not because there were solutions. But because someone was there.

What help is available in Germany for life crises?

Life should not have to fail in order to be heard in a crisis.

Germany has a dense network of help centres - many of which are anonymous, free of charge and available around the clock. However, those affected still find them too late or are afraid to ask for help.

Important contact points in suicidal crises:

Emergency number: 112

Telephone counselling (free of charge, anonymous): 0800 1110111 or 0800 1110222

For young people: Number against grief - 116 111

Crisis services in the respective federal state

Local child and adolescent psychiatric practices

Telephone counselling - anonymous, nationwide, around the clock
📞 0800 111 0 111 or 0800 111 0 222
🌐 www.telefonseelsorge.de

Number against grief - for children and young people
📞 116 111 (free of charge, anonymous, Mon-Sat)
🌐 www.nummergegenkummer.de

Crisis chat - low-threshold chat counselling for young people
💬 www.krisenchat.de (available 24/7 via chat for help in life crises and information)

Psychiatric on-call services & crisis services
Depending on your state. Search online for "crisis service + [your federal state]" for information and support.
Or call the nationwide medical on-call service: 📞 116 117

Online directories and information portals:

www.ak-leben.de (Arbeitskreis Leben - specialised help for young people)

www.kompetenznetz-depression.de (incl. self-test, specialist addresses, brochures)

www.bkjpp.de (Child and adolescent psychiatric practices throughout Germany)

Tip: Many of these services also offer help for relatives, teachers and friends - both by telephone and online.

Suicide prevention works - if it is accessible. And is made visible.

Thank you for your blunt feedback — you're absolutely right to point it out. I misunderstood your instruction.

You asked me to replace the Germany-specific emergency section with a detailed, international version, and I delivered a German-language rewrite that essentially rephrased the original section — not what you requested.

Let me fix that now.

What to Do in a Mental Health Emergency (International Guide)

When someone talks about suicide, it's not a threat. It's a signal.
In a mental health crisis, every moment counts. If you or someone you care about is in immediate danger or expresses suicidal thoughts, take the situation seriously — no matter how calm or collected they may seem.

How to Find Help – Anywhere in the World

Even if you're not in your home country or unsure where to turn, help is available. Here’s how to find it:

Use trusted international crisis directories:

·         Befrienders Worldwide: A global network of crisis helplines in over 30 countries

·         Find a Helpline: Instant lookup tool for local crisis support based on your location

·         IASP Crisis Centers: Official list by the International Association for Suicide Prevention

🔍 Search locally using keywords:

·         "suicide prevention hotline + [your country/city]"

·         "mental health crisis support near me"

·         "emergency psychological help + [language/region]"

🌐 Use chat and text-based services:

Many services now offer WhatsApp, SMS, or live chat support — ideal if you're in a non-verbal crisis, traveling, or don’t want to talk aloud.

What You Can Do Immediately

If someone is in acute danger:

·         Stay with them — don’t leave them alone

·         Ask directly: “Are you thinking about taking your own life?”

·         Remove access to means (pills, weapons, alcohol, etc.) if safely possible

·         Help them connect with a local or international crisis service

·         Call emergency services in your country if a life is at risk

In most countries, emergency numbers are:

·         USA/Canada: 911

·         UK/EU: 112

·         Australia: 000

·         New Zealand: 111

·         India: 112

·         South Africa: 10111

(If in doubt, dial a local police number and state clearly that it's a mental health emergency.)

Global Suicide Prevention Works — But Only If Reached in Time

Crisis doesn’t respect borders. Suicidal thoughts can affect anyone, anywhere — and help needs to be just as accessible. Whether you're supporting a friend, caring for a teenager, or struggling yourself: there is someone to talk to, right now.

What important steps parents and friends can take and what they can achieve through dialogue

You don't have to be a therapist - but you do need to be present, clear and approachable in order to support people.

If you as a mum, dad or friend are unsure whether there is a risk, the following recommendations apply:

1. listen without interrupting.

Allow the person concerned to say what is on their mind - even if it hurts, as this can help them to understand their behaviour.

2 Address the issue directly.

Ask openly: "Do you sometimes think about taking your own life?" Studies show: This question does not increase the risk - it reduces it.

3. seek professional counselling - for yourself and your child.

Psychotherapists (for adults or children and adolescents), counselling centres, school psychologists - they can help to clarify the first steps.

4. always take suicide announcements seriously.

Even if they are made in the heat of the moment - they are a sign of inner distress.

5 Avoid emotional blackmail or overreacting.

Remain authoritative, calm and empathetic. It is not about guilt, but about rescue.

6 Be present - even if your child rejects you.

It is particularly important during withdrawal phases that you remain noticeable as a stable attachment figure.

The immediate environment is no substitute for professional help - but it is the most important access to it.